A need to draw

[sagesaria]

For a while, I've been kicking this idea for a manga around in my head. So far, I have a few summary ideas, a few images for the first issue, and one character sketch. Perhaps if I post my ideas, I could get some feedback, and possibly think through my story? Well, let's find out...

Title: Double Take

Summary: Maru Yuki is a lonely, romantic 11th grader. She has never had a boyfriend, and her desire to have one is always overpowered by shyness in the presence of every cutie she meets. It doesn't help that Yami, a sarcastic spirit whom nobody else knows inhabits Maru's body, is always making snide comments about this in the back of her head.

Then one day, a new student comes into Maru's class, and shows a moderate interest in her and Yami.

Double take...!

This new kid can see Yami?!

Notes:

I'm not quite sure how I want the beginning to go. My basic idea is this:

Maru introduces herself to the readers. A few conversations to develop the characters of Maru's friends, then she starts to go down the stairs to her next class, but trips and stumbles down the stairs into one of her crushes. She apologizes rapidly, and when he leaves, Yami appears and teases her for once again missing her chance. Maru ignores her and continues to her class; volleyball. During class, she spaces out, thinking about how lonely she is. Yami appears again and comments on how many times she could have had a chance, listing several names. Maru whines at her, unaware that a volleyball is flying right at her forehead. WHAM! Next scene, she's lying in bed, ice pack on her forehead, listening to some kind of romantic music (Phantom of the Opera or Passion, for instance). Another conversation with Yami about being lonely, then we go to the main plot point of the new kid.

I'm not sure how to pull that off without being too repetitive. What do you guys think?

Please give feedback? I'll love you forever~!

Comments

[aecala.livejournal.com]

It sounds nice. I'd read it, whatever happened to your sprite comic... it's not nice to leave poeple in other dimensions... JK!!! ^(^_^)^

[sagesaria.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to get back into the sprite comic... :-/

[perivates.livejournal.com]

I like the general idea of it. Just a suggestion though, but you might want to change Yami's name, for fear of sounding too much like another certain spirit... unless that was the point. :P

[sagesaria.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not gonna publish it anyway... :P

That Yami is based upon yamisage, so I'm trying to keep the names mostly similar.

Unless you know another name appropriate for such a character :P

[sagesaria.livejournal.com]

Afterthought.....

How about "Kuro?" It gives off the impression of a darker side...

Or is it too close to "Yami"?

Like I said, I'm not publishing it anyway, but still, one wonders...

[perivates.livejournal.com]

I like Kuro. :D Another possibility could be Kurai.