(no subject)
Oct. 20th, 2004 04:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sagesariaToday was Wacky Day, so I got to wear my Micky Mouse ears from Disney World. I swear, I crack people up with those things every year!
We were in the library today in Cwr. We had to pick out books to read to help with our projects. I couldn't find any "For Dummies" books, so instead I went in search of fantasy romances. I found a bunch, but only ended up picking two.
I was late to check out, so I barely made it to volleyball on time, which I think was part of what triggered one of the worst emotional breakdowns in my life.
I was really out of it through the whole game. I don't know why. I just couldn't focus. Through the whole game, I was making stupid mistakes that I normally don't make. I was really embarrassed. I was so shaken that I fell apart with every single negative thought; these people cannot focus at all, I hate the substitute, two people in the class hate me and I don't know why, I've been screwing up all day and I'll bet my team was mad about it, I miss my first VB class etc etc etc....
I couldn't take it anymore. I sat in a corner and cried the rest of the period and halfway through lunch.
I hate falling apart like that. It felt like it was for absolutely no reason. I'm bursting into tears again at the thought of how horrible it felt.
Stupid Dementors.
But I felt better after some Heather Hugs (tm) and a conversation about dogs.
I got to the job fair. It was pretty much a briefing about how things worked around there, and an important announcement; right after Thanksgiving through December, applicants MUST BE AVAILABLE. Which means that I'd have to skip Darkover. Mom had the idea of spending a few hours up there when I'm not gonna be working, but I don't know how that'll work yet. Either way, it won't be the Darkover experience, you know?
Timing is everything :P
We were in the library today in Cwr. We had to pick out books to read to help with our projects. I couldn't find any "For Dummies" books, so instead I went in search of fantasy romances. I found a bunch, but only ended up picking two.
I was late to check out, so I barely made it to volleyball on time, which I think was part of what triggered one of the worst emotional breakdowns in my life.
I was really out of it through the whole game. I don't know why. I just couldn't focus. Through the whole game, I was making stupid mistakes that I normally don't make. I was really embarrassed. I was so shaken that I fell apart with every single negative thought; these people cannot focus at all, I hate the substitute, two people in the class hate me and I don't know why, I've been screwing up all day and I'll bet my team was mad about it, I miss my first VB class etc etc etc....
I couldn't take it anymore. I sat in a corner and cried the rest of the period and halfway through lunch.
I hate falling apart like that. It felt like it was for absolutely no reason. I'm bursting into tears again at the thought of how horrible it felt.
Stupid Dementors.
But I felt better after some Heather Hugs (tm) and a conversation about dogs.
I got to the job fair. It was pretty much a briefing about how things worked around there, and an important announcement; right after Thanksgiving through December, applicants MUST BE AVAILABLE. Which means that I'd have to skip Darkover. Mom had the idea of spending a few hours up there when I'm not gonna be working, but I don't know how that'll work yet. Either way, it won't be the Darkover experience, you know?
Timing is everything :P
