![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Aaaand again
Karrah Chapter 11, chapter word count: 979
Chapter 11
Ryder took a slow, deep breath, recomposing himself before looking to Karrah.
"You alroyt?"
Karrah still leered.
"How did she know you?"
Ryder froze, his eyes blank a moment at the question.
"Who is she? What's going on, why was she talking to you like you knew each other?!"
Another long pause, and Ryder sighed, scratching the back of his head. Slowly he tried to put an arm around Karrah, but she shrugged herself away from him. He sighed again, escorting her a little away from the camp, out of Helen and Ameila's view. Conflict was written in his face.
Once they were far enough away for his liking, he looked at her again, slowly slipping his dagger out of the sheath again.
"I 'oped ye wouldn't 'ave t'see this..." he carefully flipped the dagger so he was holding it by the blade, holding it out to Karrah. She gave him a hard glance, then took the weapon and looked at it. Looking it over in the dark she saw it; the same mark on the knife from the first attack was on his too, a little harder to make out from being worn and from scratches over it. She stared at it, her heart suddenly feeling like it was sinking into the deepest realms of her chest.
"You..." she could barely even say it, "You're....you're one of them..."
"Karrah, I--"
"Have you been leading me on?! Have you been lying to me all this time?" her voice broke, tears vanishing in the rain as she screamed, "How could you do this to me?"
"I--" Ryder started, trying to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shoved him away.
"Get away from me!!! How DARE you do this to me! I hate you!"
"Karrah, Karrah wait!"
She didn't listen, already turning away and running into the rain.
"Karrah!!!"
Hearing his voice she ran faster, sprinting through the field blinded by tears and rain. In her scattered thoughts one feeling overpowered the others; to get as far away as possible, as fast as possible. Her mind was on an infinite loop. How could he? How DARE he do this to her? He took her all this way. He swore to protect her. He made her care. About him. About herself. About the world. And now she found that he was one of them. Everything she knew felt wrong. She should have just stayed in the guild hall. She should never have taken Ryder's offer. She never should have saved him.
She ran faster and faster, sprinting blindly, until a patch of wet muddy grass caused her to slip, and she fell sprawling to the ground. She didn't even care anymore. She clung to the grass under her hands, sobbing, drowning in her mad thoughts.
"Karrah..." came that voice again. She tried to ignore it, keeping her face buried in the grass. A pair of boots squished through the mud, coming alongside her. Only when a pair of hands went to her shoulders did she move, scrambling away, standing and whirling wildly on the other person. Ryder stared at her with furrowed brows.
"Please..." he whispered, hesitating to reach out to her again.
"NO!" she screamed, glaring at him through her tears and swiping blindly at him as she took a defensive step back, "I never want to see you again! You lied to me!"
"No, no...I 'aven't loyed...I'd never loy t'ye..." he tried to get closer, "Karrah, jus' come back wit' me...I'll explain--"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she took another step back.
"Karrah, please jus'--"
She snapped as he tried to touch her shoulder, slapping his hand away them proceeding to shove him, beating his chest furiously as she screamed.
"You have no right to speak to me! You bastard! You lying bastard! Murderer! Liar! Get away from me! Get the hell out of my life! I hate you! I hate you!! I HATE Y--"
"Jus' 'ear me out!!!" Ryder snapped, grabbing her wrists in one hand and shaking her shoulder sharply with his other hand, forcing their eyes to meet. His wet hair all over his face made the contact hard, but his eyes were wide and his face riddled with sorrow.
"It's true." he began, his voice shaking, "I wos with 'em...but I never wan'ed t'be. My parents gave me to 'em when I wos a boy...their payment fo' a job. I 'ated them...I wan'ed t'get out...but I 'ad nowhere else t'go. I stayed fo' so long...
wh'n I proposed t'Grace I thought that'd be my way out, but they found out 'bout 'er. They blackmailed me...if I troyed t'leave they would kill 'er. She wos their 'ostage an' she di'n't even know it...she never knew wot I was..."
Karrah was still too dazed to talk. Ryder swallowed and continued.
"Wot I said befo' was true...she wos assasina'ed. And that wos me. The clan...they sen' me on a job, some girl stayin' at the Hogcaller's Inn. I di'n't ask 'em more...if I did it could've go'en ugly. It was pitch black in that room...by the toym I'd realoyzed 'oo it wos, it wos too late. They made me kill my own dearie Grace. I couldn't live with meself, Karrah...I 'ad to run away...leave everythin' I wos be'oynd."
His eyes shimmered with tears again as he loosened his grip on Karrah.
"Please believe me...I got nothin' t'do with 'em no more...I ain't a part of this. I'm jus' troyin' t'live me loyf again."
"...Ryder..." Karrah choked, finally dropping her defenses and falling on his chest, sobbing into his tunic. He caught her gently, holding her close, his head bowed over hers as he rested his forehead on the top of her head and stroked her hair.
"I'm so sorry..."
Chapter 11
Ryder took a slow, deep breath, recomposing himself before looking to Karrah.
"You alroyt?"
Karrah still leered.
"How did she know you?"
Ryder froze, his eyes blank a moment at the question.
"Who is she? What's going on, why was she talking to you like you knew each other?!"
Another long pause, and Ryder sighed, scratching the back of his head. Slowly he tried to put an arm around Karrah, but she shrugged herself away from him. He sighed again, escorting her a little away from the camp, out of Helen and Ameila's view. Conflict was written in his face.
Once they were far enough away for his liking, he looked at her again, slowly slipping his dagger out of the sheath again.
"I 'oped ye wouldn't 'ave t'see this..." he carefully flipped the dagger so he was holding it by the blade, holding it out to Karrah. She gave him a hard glance, then took the weapon and looked at it. Looking it over in the dark she saw it; the same mark on the knife from the first attack was on his too, a little harder to make out from being worn and from scratches over it. She stared at it, her heart suddenly feeling like it was sinking into the deepest realms of her chest.
"You..." she could barely even say it, "You're....you're one of them..."
"Karrah, I--"
"Have you been leading me on?! Have you been lying to me all this time?" her voice broke, tears vanishing in the rain as she screamed, "How could you do this to me?"
"I--" Ryder started, trying to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shoved him away.
"Get away from me!!! How DARE you do this to me! I hate you!"
"Karrah, Karrah wait!"
She didn't listen, already turning away and running into the rain.
"Karrah!!!"
Hearing his voice she ran faster, sprinting through the field blinded by tears and rain. In her scattered thoughts one feeling overpowered the others; to get as far away as possible, as fast as possible. Her mind was on an infinite loop. How could he? How DARE he do this to her? He took her all this way. He swore to protect her. He made her care. About him. About herself. About the world. And now she found that he was one of them. Everything she knew felt wrong. She should have just stayed in the guild hall. She should never have taken Ryder's offer. She never should have saved him.
She ran faster and faster, sprinting blindly, until a patch of wet muddy grass caused her to slip, and she fell sprawling to the ground. She didn't even care anymore. She clung to the grass under her hands, sobbing, drowning in her mad thoughts.
"Karrah..." came that voice again. She tried to ignore it, keeping her face buried in the grass. A pair of boots squished through the mud, coming alongside her. Only when a pair of hands went to her shoulders did she move, scrambling away, standing and whirling wildly on the other person. Ryder stared at her with furrowed brows.
"Please..." he whispered, hesitating to reach out to her again.
"NO!" she screamed, glaring at him through her tears and swiping blindly at him as she took a defensive step back, "I never want to see you again! You lied to me!"
"No, no...I 'aven't loyed...I'd never loy t'ye..." he tried to get closer, "Karrah, jus' come back wit' me...I'll explain--"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she took another step back.
"Karrah, please jus'--"
She snapped as he tried to touch her shoulder, slapping his hand away them proceeding to shove him, beating his chest furiously as she screamed.
"You have no right to speak to me! You bastard! You lying bastard! Murderer! Liar! Get away from me! Get the hell out of my life! I hate you! I hate you!! I HATE Y--"
"Jus' 'ear me out!!!" Ryder snapped, grabbing her wrists in one hand and shaking her shoulder sharply with his other hand, forcing their eyes to meet. His wet hair all over his face made the contact hard, but his eyes were wide and his face riddled with sorrow.
"It's true." he began, his voice shaking, "I wos with 'em...but I never wan'ed t'be. My parents gave me to 'em when I wos a boy...their payment fo' a job. I 'ated them...I wan'ed t'get out...but I 'ad nowhere else t'go. I stayed fo' so long...
wh'n I proposed t'Grace I thought that'd be my way out, but they found out 'bout 'er. They blackmailed me...if I troyed t'leave they would kill 'er. She wos their 'ostage an' she di'n't even know it...she never knew wot I was..."
Karrah was still too dazed to talk. Ryder swallowed and continued.
"Wot I said befo' was true...she wos assasina'ed. And that wos me. The clan...they sen' me on a job, some girl stayin' at the Hogcaller's Inn. I di'n't ask 'em more...if I did it could've go'en ugly. It was pitch black in that room...by the toym I'd realoyzed 'oo it wos, it wos too late. They made me kill my own dearie Grace. I couldn't live with meself, Karrah...I 'ad to run away...leave everythin' I wos be'oynd."
His eyes shimmered with tears again as he loosened his grip on Karrah.
"Please believe me...I got nothin' t'do with 'em no more...I ain't a part of this. I'm jus' troyin' t'live me loyf again."
"...Ryder..." Karrah choked, finally dropping her defenses and falling on his chest, sobbing into his tunic. He caught her gently, holding her close, his head bowed over hers as he rested his forehead on the top of her head and stroked her hair.
"I'm so sorry..."