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Villainy for Dummies
Title: Villainy for Dummies
Category: Original, self-help book
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: A self-help guide to taking over the world!
Status: Incomplete
Villainy for Dummies
Introduction - So you want to be a villain?
Do you want to take over the world, but don't know where to start? Are you embarassed by your evil schemes? Do you just feel you're not "up to snuff" for the path of evil? Fear not! Villainy for Dummies is just for you! With this book, you will learn how to be the most evil you can be! In just weeks, you will be strutting with evil pride, ordering minions around, and delivering perfect evil laughs! Your plans will be foolproof, your enemies will be smitten, and the world will be yours in no time! And if, for some horrible reason, you fail, we will show you how to re-build your empire and try again!
This book shall be your new best friend. Put your faith in it and it will show you the road.
Unit 1 - Motivation - Why are you a villain?
The first step of villainy is to determine why you have chosen to take this path. Motivation is very important, as it can affect your theme(see Unit 2), make people who hear your story see your side, and drive you slowly and surely to victory. If you don't really have a deep, moving reason for world conquest, or if you're not sure what it is that keeps you going, refer to the list below.
1. Revenge
One of the most common motivations of villains. A deep-seated grudge drives you through life as you wait patiently for the right moment to smite the one who ruined your life. Revenge itself can be divided into four sub-categories.
Mocked - It hurts to be mocked, doesn't it? You have a brilliant idea that you have done tons of research on. You know in your heart that it is pure genious, but does anyone listen? No. You are so angry that you prove your brilliant idea works by using it to lay waste to the land.
Love Taken Away - You're loved them since the first time you met them. You've starved for their affections. You've done everything you can to make them notice you. And then, someone interfered. Jealousy floods you like a river. All you want to do is kill the new lover and take back your heart's desire whether they like it or not.
Rivalry - You want to be the best at everything. You want to be the most famous person in the world. You want everything in the world to be yours. But someone else does too. You're not gonna let them make a fool out of you, are you?
Defeated by the Hero - You have bigger plans in mind, but you have set them aside. One thing nags at you day by day; the Hero's demise. You have been defeated by him once(or more), and he made a fool of you. Now it's his turn to be the fool, and you will be the one to see to it.
For more information on the Hero, refer to Unit 6
2. Lost Love
The most tragic of motivations. Your one true love died, of causes either unknown or unstoppable. You are overcome with grief. This grief can lead to one of three results. One, your grief literally drives you mad, at which your motivation turns from lost love to insanity. Two, you decide that you will do whatever it takes to bring your loved one back, even if it means destroying yourself and/or anyone in your way. Third, you unleash all your sadness, anger and frusteration on the world, destroying everything in your path in a blind rampage. This motivation, while powerful, is very painful. Should you choose to use it, be prepared for the challanges ahead.
3. Narcicism or Meglemania
Another of the common motivations for villainy. Under narcicism, you are litterally in love with yourself. You are beautiful and perfect in every way. You love you. You want the rest of the world to love you. How do you do that? Why, by taking it all over, of course!
For more extreme results, you can take the route of meglemania. With meglemania, you are the one true ruler of the world, no matter what anyone says! Your plans are perfect! You want to take over the world and that's what you are going to do! You will have everything just the way you want it, and if anyone opposes you, you can and will blow them to smithereens! You talk down to everybody. The only person you are concerned with is you.
4. Failed Experiment-Induced Insanity
This is one of the less common motivations for a villain, simultanious with the revenge motivation. You performed a dangerous, known to be almost deadly experiment on yourself late at night with no one else around (or with people around, for a little thrill). It didn't kill you, but it did give you incredible strength and power, and something happened in your brain that wasn't according to plan. You have litterally gone insane. Most symptoms are no recollection of your nightly rampages, and often multiple-personality disorder. Approach this path with caution. These experiments, as we've said, can be deadly.
5. Insanity
The most frightening villains of all are usually the ones with this motivation. Only a part of you knows what you're doing. The rest is your own body seeming to move on its own. Some may say that insanity is more of a condition of the mind as supposed to a motivation, but it works either way!
Note: The insanity motivation can only be used by people who are truly declared insane.
6. Possessed
The least favored of motivations, as it isn't really you. Another being had taken over you and is using you as a puppet for their own plans. While possessions are very rare, it can be an unpleasent feeling and a hassle to deal with. It is not recommended for the beginner villain.
7. "I Just Feel Like It!"
You don't have any grudges or mental conditions that drive you down the path of evil. You just do it as a hobby. Can't say I don't blame you; it's a fun job!
There you have it. Seven different motivations for villains to use to keep them going through life. For more fun, you can even combine motivations together. Some villains can narcicistic, possessed, and have a lost lover all at once! Try different combinations until you are satisfied, then go to Unit 2
Category: Original, self-help book
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: A self-help guide to taking over the world!
Status: Incomplete
Villainy for Dummies
Introduction - So you want to be a villain?
Do you want to take over the world, but don't know where to start? Are you embarassed by your evil schemes? Do you just feel you're not "up to snuff" for the path of evil? Fear not! Villainy for Dummies is just for you! With this book, you will learn how to be the most evil you can be! In just weeks, you will be strutting with evil pride, ordering minions around, and delivering perfect evil laughs! Your plans will be foolproof, your enemies will be smitten, and the world will be yours in no time! And if, for some horrible reason, you fail, we will show you how to re-build your empire and try again!
This book shall be your new best friend. Put your faith in it and it will show you the road.
Unit 1 - Motivation - Why are you a villain?
The first step of villainy is to determine why you have chosen to take this path. Motivation is very important, as it can affect your theme(see Unit 2), make people who hear your story see your side, and drive you slowly and surely to victory. If you don't really have a deep, moving reason for world conquest, or if you're not sure what it is that keeps you going, refer to the list below.
1. Revenge
One of the most common motivations of villains. A deep-seated grudge drives you through life as you wait patiently for the right moment to smite the one who ruined your life. Revenge itself can be divided into four sub-categories.
Mocked - It hurts to be mocked, doesn't it? You have a brilliant idea that you have done tons of research on. You know in your heart that it is pure genious, but does anyone listen? No. You are so angry that you prove your brilliant idea works by using it to lay waste to the land.
Love Taken Away - You're loved them since the first time you met them. You've starved for their affections. You've done everything you can to make them notice you. And then, someone interfered. Jealousy floods you like a river. All you want to do is kill the new lover and take back your heart's desire whether they like it or not.
Rivalry - You want to be the best at everything. You want to be the most famous person in the world. You want everything in the world to be yours. But someone else does too. You're not gonna let them make a fool out of you, are you?
Defeated by the Hero - You have bigger plans in mind, but you have set them aside. One thing nags at you day by day; the Hero's demise. You have been defeated by him once(or more), and he made a fool of you. Now it's his turn to be the fool, and you will be the one to see to it.
For more information on the Hero, refer to Unit 6
2. Lost Love
The most tragic of motivations. Your one true love died, of causes either unknown or unstoppable. You are overcome with grief. This grief can lead to one of three results. One, your grief literally drives you mad, at which your motivation turns from lost love to insanity. Two, you decide that you will do whatever it takes to bring your loved one back, even if it means destroying yourself and/or anyone in your way. Third, you unleash all your sadness, anger and frusteration on the world, destroying everything in your path in a blind rampage. This motivation, while powerful, is very painful. Should you choose to use it, be prepared for the challanges ahead.
3. Narcicism or Meglemania
Another of the common motivations for villainy. Under narcicism, you are litterally in love with yourself. You are beautiful and perfect in every way. You love you. You want the rest of the world to love you. How do you do that? Why, by taking it all over, of course!
For more extreme results, you can take the route of meglemania. With meglemania, you are the one true ruler of the world, no matter what anyone says! Your plans are perfect! You want to take over the world and that's what you are going to do! You will have everything just the way you want it, and if anyone opposes you, you can and will blow them to smithereens! You talk down to everybody. The only person you are concerned with is you.
4. Failed Experiment-Induced Insanity
This is one of the less common motivations for a villain, simultanious with the revenge motivation. You performed a dangerous, known to be almost deadly experiment on yourself late at night with no one else around (or with people around, for a little thrill). It didn't kill you, but it did give you incredible strength and power, and something happened in your brain that wasn't according to plan. You have litterally gone insane. Most symptoms are no recollection of your nightly rampages, and often multiple-personality disorder. Approach this path with caution. These experiments, as we've said, can be deadly.
5. Insanity
The most frightening villains of all are usually the ones with this motivation. Only a part of you knows what you're doing. The rest is your own body seeming to move on its own. Some may say that insanity is more of a condition of the mind as supposed to a motivation, but it works either way!
Note: The insanity motivation can only be used by people who are truly declared insane.
6. Possessed
The least favored of motivations, as it isn't really you. Another being had taken over you and is using you as a puppet for their own plans. While possessions are very rare, it can be an unpleasent feeling and a hassle to deal with. It is not recommended for the beginner villain.
7. "I Just Feel Like It!"
You don't have any grudges or mental conditions that drive you down the path of evil. You just do it as a hobby. Can't say I don't blame you; it's a fun job!
There you have it. Seven different motivations for villains to use to keep them going through life. For more fun, you can even combine motivations together. Some villains can narcicistic, possessed, and have a lost lover all at once! Try different combinations until you are satisfied, then go to Unit 2