A letter to my classmate/teammate in volleyball that I'm mad at.

[sagesaria]

Dear Carlos,

There is a big difference between being supportive and being abusive. Encouraging good things and giving suggestions to correct mistakes is supportive. Yelling at everyone for every little mistake they make, ordering people around like they're nothing, and physically *threatening* those who make constant mistakes, like you were doing today, is abusive.

It doesn't bother Neil, and I don't know if it bothers Eric, but it bothers me. In a game of volleyball, I don't need somebody yelling at me for something I messed up on and being accused of ruining the game. Perhaps it was my fault that we lost because I made a mistake. But it happens! Don't scream in my face about it, tell me politely how I could have prevented that. All you did all day was completely break my concentration so I would make more mistakes.

And who cares if we lost? It's only our third week of playing VB, and the class has a lot of newbies! You expect us to start playing like pros right away?

You can't win them all. Shocking, I know. Learn from your mistakes and practice to get better and then you can win. That probably feels better than taking out anger from loss on everyone who couldn't get the ball.

You're irritated teammate,
Meg

Yeah, I'm not gonna really send that, but I'm really aggravated and bitter at this guy.

Comments

[zenlizard]

Um, why not send it? (with apropriate spelling corrections, of course). It's well-written, as polite as it needs to be, well thought out, gets the point accross.

[maugorn.livejournal.com]

I agree with the Lizard on this.
Bullies who are not challenged often continue and often escalate.
You might want to also elicit the support of the other folks on your squad
who are NOT acting this way and present a united front.

But even so, let him know that this is not acceptable.

Also, you have more control over this situation than you might realise.
In fact, you have the ultimate advantage.

I'll tell ya about it later if you haven't figured it out.

[yamisage.livejournal.com]

Pfft, if you're gonna send a letter to a guy you're POed at, I say you should completely FLAME his ass and tell him to go to hell and rub it in his face what an asshole he is!